


A Snarky Yet Quaint Sentiment

by wooloolulu



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/F, Gift Fic, no SBurb AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 22:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18669301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wooloolulu/pseuds/wooloolulu
Summary: Kanaya finds the perfect roommate- and develops a crush on her. What she doesn't know is that her roommate developed a crush on her, too.





	A Snarky Yet Quaint Sentiment

**Author's Note:**

> Gift Fic for the winner of a Valentines Event for HADS! I'm sorry for the delay [@Tinzarone](https://tinzarone.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> I had art block for a good 4 months and restarted this fic twice anyway enjoy.

Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you’re looking for a new roommate. So long as they’re tidy, can look after themselves, and pay up their side of the rent, you do not care who they are, nor their race, for that matter. And that’s a good thing too; most trolls are still iffy around the human race, and vice versa. Despite how long it’s been since trolls arrived on Earth, humans and trolls sharing residence is still rather rare. 

But, strangely enough, out of all the applications you’ve received, the perfect roommate - one which fitted all the requirements and more - was, in fact, a human. 

Curiously, you’re interested.

You ring up the number that was on the application and agreed to meet up at the local cafe to talk more about the room and area she’ll be staying in. You find out that she is a very attractive lady.

Oh no.

You accept her as your roommate. 

* * *

Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you definitely do not have a crush on your new roommate. Absolutely not. No.

(Okay, maybe a little one.)

She gave you her handle and said it was ‘just in case any emergencies happen’, or something along the lines. The snarky horseshit-o-meter was careening off the charts every time you spoke to her. You’ve never personally experienced this much snarky horseshittery in your life from another person.

It was fantastic. Finally, a challenge.

Well, Rose? Challenge gracefully accepted.

Currently, the snark battles have been leaning in her favour, unfortunately, but you’ll get her eventually. You’re sure of it.  
Speaking of which…

GA: Rose  
GA: Is This A Jape  
GA: Is This Some Kind Of Human Joke  
TT: Whatever is the matter, Kanaya?  
GA: The Kitchen Right Now Is A Mess  
GA: I Know You Have Done Something And I Want To Know What  
TT: Ah, I see. We had a very small bug infestation, and I had to fight them with the cunning use of eldritch incantations and salt circles. It was tiring work, but I was meaning to clean it up.  
GA: The Bugs Were For Dinner Rose  
TT: Excuse you?  
GA: Do You Not Eat Insects  
TT: No, I do not.  
GA: Oh  
TT: What a strange yet quaint species difference.

This snark has failed on both ends and ended up with you both discussing cultural and interspecies differences. While interesting, this isn’t what you wanted out of this interaction.

You bet that she changed the subject on purpose, a snarky redirection.

… Another point to Rose. (The worst part is, you’re not even mad.)

* * *

Your name is now Rose Lalonde. The snark-o-meter has tilted in your favour, as it has been for a while now. That doesn’t mean that the banter has stopped being fun, oh no. The fact that she’s responding to the snark with snark that rivals your own is actually rather… fascinating.

Endearing, even.

You absolutely have a crush. You would have never expected yourself to have a crush on a troll, and yet here you are. But it isn’t like you can help it. She’s an ethereal beauty and clever to boot.

Everything you’ve looked for in a woman, honestly.

So, to combat this crush, you do what any sane person would do. You talk to a friend about it, but not in a direct fashion, oh no. You’re going to ask for help in the most convoluted way possible. Like a normal person would. Obviously.

TT: Jade, I have some questions to ask of you.  
GG: oh okay! whats up??  
TT: In a hypothetical senario, what would you personally do if there were a person you liked in a romantic sense.  
GG: thats a toughie!!  
GG: uhhh  
GG: i mean i guess id make them something they liked? get to know them better!!  
GG: OH!!!!!  
GG: you can take them to dinner you can get to know them better!!  
TT: Jade Harley, are you suggesting I take them on a date?  
GG: not in so many words but yeah  
GG: theres no better way to get to know someone than on a date!  
GG: unless you move in with them of course  
TT: What if you were, in the same hypothetical, living in the same residence as the person in question?  
GG: i  
GG: rose do you have a crush on your roommate????????  
TT: I see that you are as sharp as ever, Harley.  
GG: !!!!!!  
GG: :D :D :D  
GG: she seems really nice!!!!!! ask her on a date!!!!!!!  
TT: Okay, okay.

Then you and Jade proceed to discuss how to go about arranging said date.

(You can’t say you’re not excited.)

* * *

You book the best restaurant money can buy. Which was none, since you don’t have that kind of money, and this isn’t technically a date. This is more… testing the waters, as such. (You’ll ‘borrow’ your mother’s card if this goes well, for a proper ‘first’ date.)

You ask Kanaya if she wants to go to the nearest cafe to you. She raised an eyebrow before agreeing. And so you leave to the destination of choice, she sits on the booth whilst you order the drinks.

You bought her a Frappe - the same one she bought when you first met with her in the same cafe to discuss the room. 

How sentimental of you, Rose.

She thanks you for the coffee, and takes a sip of it. “Oh, you remembered my order,” she mumbles into the cup - her dictation is always clear, despite her voice volume. (You love it.)

“Well, of course,” you say in response, before going into a conversation regarding animals. She tells you she likes moths, and you woefully tell her about poor Jaspers the cat.

The ‘date’ continues like that, idle talk which ends up getting turning into deeper, longer, more thought-provoking conversations. This… pleases you. You knew this anyway - what with your previous snark-offs and discussions whilst living with her - but in a relationship, this is even more desirable. 

You smile, before asking her if she would like to date for real. 

(You fail to hide your glee when she says yes.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
